Apparently, Australians are in the grip of toilet paper panic. Supermarkets all around Australia have had their toilet paper aisles cleaned out as shoppers load up whole shopping trollies full of jumbo packs. Poor pensioners who can only afford to buy a few rolls at a time are getting there too late, or worrying that the aisles won't get re-stocked in time. And it's not just in Australia. Our friends over the ditch in New Zealand, and over the sea in the US and UK, are also wiping out toilet paper supplies.
We all know it's about COVID-19 and the possibility of widespread self-quarantining, but why toilet paper? How much toilet paper do you need to get through a 14-day quarantine period? While some Australians are stocking up, others are laughing at them, or scratching their heads at the stupidity of it all. I think the main reason they are confused is because they have not yet seen my World Diagram™ on the subject. Now is your, and the world's, chance to rectify that!
Superficially we may feel that people are just stocking up for a really shitty day, or fortnight, and at the simplest level this may be true. We just don't want to run out, we say. But I think we should dig a little deeper. Why toilet paper? And why so much?
Cleanliness and contamination
We are, of course, facing an impending pandemic. There is a new germ out there in the world, it is highly contagious, and while most people who get it have a fairly mild illness it can be much worse, even to the point of death for some unlucky or vulnerable people. People are not silly to be worried. But we don't know what to do. How can we combat this?
While our rational minds are grappling with this problem in a more or less logical way, our subconscious has already arrived at the solution. We need to keep clean. Nothing speaks of uncleanness and contamination like toilets. From our earliest infancy, before we can even think rationally, we are taught that poo is dirty and must not be touched, played with, or left anywhere other than in a toilet, where it can be conveniently wiped and flushed away. If we do not do this we will both get and spread germs.
So our subconscious, the frightened little infant who secretly inhabits our minds, has made us take it to the supermarket to make sure we have enough toilet paper to keep us clean. It has not yet learned maths, so has no way of knowing how much is enough and just grabs as much as it can.
Hence toilet paper. Not rational, but totally understandable.
Fear and isolation
But why is our little infant so afraid? Well, like all children, it fears being left alone. Our little child fears that in this time of danger, it will be abandoned by the adults who are supposed to protect it.
Who are these adults? Well, our little child is not quite sure. Once it was his or her parents, but now it's not so clear because to all appearances we are taking care of ourselves. Mostly that's OK, but in times of stress we all need someone bigger to pick us up and assure us we are safe. Who can do that for us?
Perhaps it's our governments, but over recent years they have been busy telling us to be lifters not leaners, to stand on our own feet and stop asking for handouts. When the country was burning last year our Prime Minister went to Hawaii. "I don't hold a hose," he said, so we can't expect him to step in and clean up our contamination.
Can we rely on others - our neighbours and friends, our extended family, our church, wherever else it is we feel we belong? Perhaps we can, but in our generation many of these relationships are breaking down, we are more and more isolated. When things are going well we don't mind, but it doesn't take much for us to realise that our aloneness has a downside, that it leaves us vulnerable. So we panic, we stock up, we prepare for a long stint of aloneness in the midst of our crowded cities where we are never more than ten metres from another person.
Stampeding the herd
We all know how stampedes work. One animal gets spooked by something - perhaps it sees a lion out of the corner of its eye, perhaps it just gets stung by a bee - and it takes off. It's herd-mates see it running and they don't look, they just run too. Soon the whole herd is galloping away at top speed, although most of them have no idea why. It's how herd animals survive. They stick together, they follow one another, they run first and ask questions later. Panic spreads fast.
Humans do it too. How many times have we heard stories of people being crushed to death as crowds head for the exits to escape some catastrophe? We don't even have to all be in one place for the process to work. This is how stock markets operate, creating cycles of boom and crash as people flock to stocks that others are buying, then stampede away when they believe the price will fall.
This is how toilet paper panic works too. It's self-reinforcing. As we see the toilet paper aisles emptying we rush to the aisle to get ours before it is all gone. Everyone else does the same and soon it is all gone. So then the panic is on in earnest as we search around the city for a store that still has some, or advertise online that we need some, or dig yesterday's newspaper out of the recycling just in case we need it.
Eventually the herd comes to rest, exhausted. Hopefully, no-one has been trampled to death in the process.
We all know it's about COVID-19 and the possibility of widespread self-quarantining, but why toilet paper? How much toilet paper do you need to get through a 14-day quarantine period? While some Australians are stocking up, others are laughing at them, or scratching their heads at the stupidity of it all. I think the main reason they are confused is because they have not yet seen my World Diagram™ on the subject. Now is your, and the world's, chance to rectify that!
Superficially we may feel that people are just stocking up for a really shitty day, or fortnight, and at the simplest level this may be true. We just don't want to run out, we say. But I think we should dig a little deeper. Why toilet paper? And why so much?
Cleanliness and contamination
We are, of course, facing an impending pandemic. There is a new germ out there in the world, it is highly contagious, and while most people who get it have a fairly mild illness it can be much worse, even to the point of death for some unlucky or vulnerable people. People are not silly to be worried. But we don't know what to do. How can we combat this?
While our rational minds are grappling with this problem in a more or less logical way, our subconscious has already arrived at the solution. We need to keep clean. Nothing speaks of uncleanness and contamination like toilets. From our earliest infancy, before we can even think rationally, we are taught that poo is dirty and must not be touched, played with, or left anywhere other than in a toilet, where it can be conveniently wiped and flushed away. If we do not do this we will both get and spread germs.
So our subconscious, the frightened little infant who secretly inhabits our minds, has made us take it to the supermarket to make sure we have enough toilet paper to keep us clean. It has not yet learned maths, so has no way of knowing how much is enough and just grabs as much as it can.
Hence toilet paper. Not rational, but totally understandable.
Fear and isolation
But why is our little infant so afraid? Well, like all children, it fears being left alone. Our little child fears that in this time of danger, it will be abandoned by the adults who are supposed to protect it.
Who are these adults? Well, our little child is not quite sure. Once it was his or her parents, but now it's not so clear because to all appearances we are taking care of ourselves. Mostly that's OK, but in times of stress we all need someone bigger to pick us up and assure us we are safe. Who can do that for us?
Perhaps it's our governments, but over recent years they have been busy telling us to be lifters not leaners, to stand on our own feet and stop asking for handouts. When the country was burning last year our Prime Minister went to Hawaii. "I don't hold a hose," he said, so we can't expect him to step in and clean up our contamination.
Can we rely on others - our neighbours and friends, our extended family, our church, wherever else it is we feel we belong? Perhaps we can, but in our generation many of these relationships are breaking down, we are more and more isolated. When things are going well we don't mind, but it doesn't take much for us to realise that our aloneness has a downside, that it leaves us vulnerable. So we panic, we stock up, we prepare for a long stint of aloneness in the midst of our crowded cities where we are never more than ten metres from another person.
Stampeding the herd
We all know how stampedes work. One animal gets spooked by something - perhaps it sees a lion out of the corner of its eye, perhaps it just gets stung by a bee - and it takes off. It's herd-mates see it running and they don't look, they just run too. Soon the whole herd is galloping away at top speed, although most of them have no idea why. It's how herd animals survive. They stick together, they follow one another, they run first and ask questions later. Panic spreads fast.
Humans do it too. How many times have we heard stories of people being crushed to death as crowds head for the exits to escape some catastrophe? We don't even have to all be in one place for the process to work. This is how stock markets operate, creating cycles of boom and crash as people flock to stocks that others are buying, then stampede away when they believe the price will fall.
This is how toilet paper panic works too. It's self-reinforcing. As we see the toilet paper aisles emptying we rush to the aisle to get ours before it is all gone. Everyone else does the same and soon it is all gone. So then the panic is on in earnest as we search around the city for a store that still has some, or advertise online that we need some, or dig yesterday's newspaper out of the recycling just in case we need it.
Eventually the herd comes to rest, exhausted. Hopefully, no-one has been trampled to death in the process.
***
The good news is that even though we feel alone and afraid, we are not actually alone. We are indeed never more than ten metres from another person. This closeness is what allows us to survive as humans. When the apocalypse comes, the people who survive it will not be those who have stockpiled weapons, tins of food and, yes, toilet paper in their fortified compounds. It will be those who have built strong relationships and supportive communities, who are part of mutually supportive networks of people who will share resources and skills, help those in need and stick together in hard times.
Over the years we have shown that when the time comes, we are actually quite good at this. The way our communities came together during and after this summer's bushfires was inspiring and comforting. Back in 2011 we saw the same community response to Brisbane's floods. While the fear of danger and disaster can make us panic and hoard stuff, once the disaster itself comes we are much more likely to turn out and help.
So while it may seem wise to stockpile lots of stuff like toilet paper (and a prudently-scaled stockpile is not such a bad idea) the best thing you can do is stockpile friendships and goodwill. That is what will get us through this danger, and oh so many others.
Comments
All the best to you and yours in Oz. We are on a weekend 'lockdown' in Yokohama, which makes absolutely no sense....